Gallery

The hominids of the Gravylithic & Pre-Gravonian Periods have left us precious little in the way of art. Archaeologists are divided on the reasons for this — a majority of researchers believe that it’s because nohomo gravius dangerus was an incredibly lazy species, only occasionally creating much of anything at all, and even then, probably not finishing it… but a growing number of experts have voiced support for a radical new theory that says Time moves only in one direction, and that the Gravylithic Period hasn’t happened yet (some fringe scientists even assert that we are just now entering in the Gravylithic Period as we speak!).

However we explain the apparent lack of creative works left to us by nohomo gravius, their rarity only makes these pieces all the more priceless. (But, I mean… not totally priceless. We do have bills to pay, you know.) These pieces, available for display here thanks to a grant from our friends at Dangerfield, Gravyman & Schmutz, offer a glimpse into a time long ago… or maybe a long time from now… or maybe in a couple weeks… I don’t fucking know, man, I was the janitor until last week, when the old curator died or the ‘Rona.

Thanks SPOBAMA.

The Rise & Fall of Gravius Dangerus’ acts as a series of vignettes of a time that was… or will be… or is… I don’t know, just enjoy the fucking pictures. It’s costing us like $23 a month to pay the bills around here, so you twats better appreciate it.

— Your Friends at Dangerfield, Gravyman & Schmutz, and the Society for the Preservation Of Bad Acronyms & Mediocre Art